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Sebastian Vettel hospitalized after drunken brawl with Kimi Raikkonnen.

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Witnesses shocked at the scenes which unfolded in a McDonald’s restaurant just outside the Bahrain F1 Circuit.

After the race, F1 drivers Kimi Raikkonen and Sebastian Vettel commandeered a shuttle from the paddock to a McDonald’s restaurant just outside the main track entry. It is not the first time the colleagues do this, a similar expedition for fast food also happened in China and Singapore.

A violent fist fight broke out because the ice cream machine was broken.

While Sebastian’s order of a chicken sandwich and a coke zero went through, Kimi’s dessert proved hard to come by. The ice cream machine was broken.

Kimi did not receive the bad news lightly. He demanded his ice cream cone to be on the tray at once. He then proceeded to jump up on the counter and scream “I AM A FORMULA ONE CHAMPION – I WANT ICE CREAM”, creating much distress in the crowded restaurant.

Sebastian Vettel stepped in.

His colleague Sebastian tried to calm the situation. He asked his friend Kimi to stop being a dick, and get off the counter. This is where things went from bad to worse. When stepping down from the counter, Kimi slipped, and fell on another customer in line. The customer, not enjoying a drunken Finnish racing driver on his head, gave Kimi a great open-hand slap in the face. Witness recall the sound of the slap as “beautiful” and “well deserved”, and Kimi fell to the ground.

The local then approached Sebastian, asking if also he wanted a taste of the Bahrain open-hand magic sleeping pill. Which Sebastian did not, and stepped away.

But wait, here comes a very large cat.

The story could have ended here. But it did not. Kimi quickly regained consciousness and again asked for trouble. A violent fist fight between Kimi and everyone else brought apocalyptic chaos to the family restaurant. The fight only ended when Sebastian accidentally stepped on a customers pet lion’s tail, making the otherwise trained calm animal jump Sebastian and bite off his right index finger. Moments later, police appeared on the scene, calming everyone down with a few gun shots in the air.

The hooligans were brought to a near by medical station.

With absolutely no bruises, apart from the ones on his fists, Kimi was quickly discharged from the medical office.

Sebastian wasn’t so lucky. He was held for a few hours, while they patched up his multiple cuts and bruises, and tried stitching his finger back on unsuccessfully. Sadly they were unable to retrieve the missing finger from the lion.

The lion was unharmed during the ordeal. The supervisor of the McDonald’s restaurant has been arrested. That ice cream machine should have been operational.

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